My Life My Love My World

2012-01-16T05:23:00.002+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum...

So many things came up in my mind.
I just cudnt get it out...
Only Allah s.w.t. knows how i feel every single day.
Hmm... i dont know why now a days i always think of my relationship with him.
myb i shudnt think too much abt it. i shud stop instead...i need to stop worrying things that do not have any probs.
There're no words to express how much i love him.
How much his love always reminds me of Allah s.w.t..
Always makes me much more closer to Allah. Subhanallah.
i Love Allah more than anything else. So, every time things came up i put my faith in HIM that everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Be patient. Thats what've been telling myself. To make myself strong and stay on the ground firmly, i know there's always reasons. My life means nothing without the Creator. i really cannot sleep.. my mind keeps on functioning.
i always pray to Allah that my love will always stay by my side no matter. They are also the reason why im still standing on my feet while people around me trying to bring me down. Even tho im happy with what im doing right now, im still searching for more. More time to think of Allah and trying to get closer to HIM.

Ya Allah, dekatkn diriku padaMu. Tingkatkn diriku. Tambahkan imankusekiranya ia kurang dlm hidupku. Ya Rahman, berikanla aku kasih sayangMu, rahmatMU dan petunjukMu. Ya Rabbi, ampunkanlah segala dosa ku yang besar dan kecik. Ampunkan lah dosa setiap umat islam. Sesungguhnya Engkau Yang Maha Agung.

Amin.

2011-12-08T15:17:00.002+08:00

thats me.. wearing hijab and i took it with my new samsung galaxy s2!

2011-12-08T14:52:00.006+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum.

Its been so long since Ramadhan? Yes indeed every human have their own problem. Allah s.w.t. never stop giving us any obstacles that will come to our way... Indeed, HE love us more than we can ever imagine. You can even CRY your lungs out when u even think if HIM and what you terribly done to him. When you do something bad, and you still remember HiM, be happy. HE still loves you like no other. :)

the problem now is, i need to get a new job urgently but i keep holding back coz i think of my dad. haish.i really dont like quarreling or even argue with anyone in my life. i really DISLIKE it.

Alhamdulillah syukur kpd Illahi. At last, he confessed to me everything...How can i not love him? Sometimes he also guides me when im down and im not thinking straight. My bestfrens never fail to help me too. How can i not be frens with them who appreciates me for who i am no matter what happen? :) Syukur Alhamdulillah. Don't u feel like crying when u think of the beautiful things that happened in your life? Syaitan will always triggers you to think of the bad side. ALWAYS and NEVER GIVE UP. So, we as human must also do the same thing to bring syaitan down. Correct? To be truth, i dont give a shit of all the girls out there but there's limit ok. i can be very very very quiet but don't ever ever try to test my patience. You never know what will happen to you and also bf. My words can be nice and sweet but don't let me use those vulgarities and all to talk to you and make you understand of me. Then, that was a long time ago. I've stopped all that. i rather keep it to myself and tell abt it to my bestfrens and family. That's all. Whatever it is, i will keep on smiling to cover all the pain and sadness in my life. i dont want others to see how hard my life is at least. Always follow the Rasulullah s.a.w. hadis and Al-quran. Insya-Allah, Allah will guide you. Amin Ya rabbal'Alamin. ;')

2011-09-12T10:41:00.003+08:00

Even though its raye, i dont feel like its really raye. I had a tough month... i really donno wat to do... just keep on tawakal. ive think far and i think that i really cannot live without him. even if i try to move on. Seriously. I dont think i can be as happy as i am right now even though im going through the ups n downs. At times, i dont know why i am facing this kind of situation in my life. Sometimes i feel like crying but i asked myself again why. No matter how hard i try to stay strong, sometimes i fall on the ground but i stand up and tell myself: Never Give up.
Maybe i should be very low profile instead like last time. Very quiet and keep everything to myself.
i feel like doing crazy stuff but i dont know whats the benefit i get. Sometimes, i want to get over my limits but what do i get? i want to be crazy for awhile but what do i get? so, what i did was calm myself and tawakal to Allah. Maybe what i did in the past is coming through my way. Yet you never know what is coming through your way. May Allah guide us. Amin.

2011-08-25T12:28:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hey hey... i am so sleepy now. Haha! yesterday he went to RSH for an interview. Alhamadulillah, he got the job! Happy for him. After that, he went to the office with me. As usual, i was doing my job. He was sleeping at the sofa. :) hahah! Went to his house n break fast with his family. Helped him to paint his gate and thanks to him, i got lotsa black spots on my face, neck and hands. Even my watch. HAHA! What a mess. We had fun tho, in the end i end up sitting and let him do the rest. i was too tired and now my back is aching. i can barely bend down. He sent me home. It was fun. :) Thanks dear. Now, it's easier for me to see him! His working place is so near. 5 mins walk from my office. ;D hehehehe.

Today, i got class at punggol. Oh my... i want my $19 back please! Cause i need it! heheheh...
I love my guitar and love to play with it tho, i am not really good at playing it yet. Cause i don't really memorize the chords. HAHAHAH! Time flies. i've activate my fb for fun and no purpose to activate it also. Lol.

I feel moved on cause i don't want to think of what had happened recently and i think it's important to think the happy things than all the shits. Think ahead.

May Allah show me the truth. Amin.

Till here. Update soon! BYE!

2011-08-23T14:16:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hello! Yesterday was fun with him. He fetch me and we break fast together with his friends at haig road. It was nice meeting everyone. It was our first time walking at the bazaar. Fyi, he doesn't like to go there cause it's very pack and humid. He's a cranky baby. Hahahah!
Anyway, what a surprise to see that girl while we walking out from paya lebar mrt. She was quite excited to see him tho. At the same time, he was on the phone so he didn't really saw her. i saw her clearly. Erm.. Don't want to say much about it. i am still sick and i still can't fast. :(

About our case, i really need to drop it and i am really sick and tired about it. I can't be bothered to know about it anymore. I will just have to pray to Allah s.w.t. to show me the truth. I know the truth hurts but it's for my own good anyway. He should know what to do about it. I don't want to fight about this problem. i think it's lame. Let's just sit and watch. :) i really hope everything is not a drama. Amin.

Ya Allah, Engkau yang Maha Mengetahui Segala baik dan buruk dalam hidupku. Tunjukkanlah aku kebenaran dalam hidupku ini. Amin.

Till here. Soon.

With Love,
Anirah

2011-08-21T21:23:00.004+08:00

Bismillahiramanirahim.

Hey... What can i do when i am fated to be like this? i am sick and pleased that this happened to me cause whatever i did (my sins), this is how Allah pay me back. Redha.

i realize that things will never be the same already. I don't know whether it will last or not. im not going to tell you what happened to me. Why im sick. It's not important anyway.

I think i should have just say it and not hold it huh? tomorrow morning will go back to spore. Sure will be very tired and hopefully, i can hold the pain.

I am upset right now. Cannot think of what to type.

take care!

2011-08-19T11:07:00.007+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hey there... im in the office alone and i feel like i want to fall asleep! :(
So sleepy. I was thinking about facebook just now. He told me he activate back his facebook cause he said it's boring without facebook especially when you have iphone without facebook. Whatever.
As long as he is happy. i couldn't be bothered about it anymore. I did went in to mine but when i look at it, i feel like what is there to do in facebook? Telling everyone how you technically feel though there's a good thing too, like sharing information. I still think that it's a waste of time to play facebook. I will reconsider about activate it back. Hmm. I somehow think that blogging is better. Even though i don't know who is reading this blog, i am having fun... :)

Right now, im playing with my guitar in the office. hehe... i know, very random. Anyway, i am bored!!! i want to go geylang if possible to but food for break fast. :D Erm...I miss break fasting with my family.

Yesterday, he accompanied me break fast at KFC, punggol plaza. Thank you very much! I appreciate it a lot. Seriously, break fast ALONE is not fun at all! The lonely feeling is so lonely. Hmm. Also, thank so much for fetching me from tuition class. i don't really like your friend though. I think that he is not really a good friend. He come to you when he need you and then gone when he got no story or things to tell. I really agree that some guys out there gossips WORST than the girls. Seriously, you need to get a life! I was kind of shock when i was working at my previous work place. Ya Allah.. Mulut murai macam makcik duduk bawa blok ok. Subhanallah. May Allah forgive you. Also, when i think of privacy. i mean you really want your own privacy? Then, don't even bother to have a girlfriend in your life please. I mean, what's the point of sharing and helping one another yet you still keep secrets behind the back and for what? Can i say immature? HAHA. Okeh. Let me share with you what've i got from the library yesterday about CINTA. There's a few useful notes for you. :)

TIPS MENGEKALKAN HUBUNGAN CINTA

1. Bercintalah dengan niat untuk mendapatkan keredaan Allah.
2. Sentiasa mengambil tahu hal ehwal kekasih.
3. Mengekalkan rasa hormat, kasih sayang dan kejujuran dalam percintaan.
4. Jangan menurut hawa nafsu dan godaan syaitan.
5. Jangan memusnahkan cinta dengan melakukan hubungan seks di luar nikah
6. Keluar mesti bertemankan mahram.
7. Jangan berdua-duaan di tempat yang sunyi kerana yang ketiga adalah syaitan.
8. Jaga tutur kata dan peliharalah batas-batas pergaulan.

CEMBURU

Cemburu bertujuan untuk menjaga kehormatan orang yang saudara cintai, bukannya untuk memusnahkan kehidupannya.

DOA-DOA CINTA

"Ya Allah, jadiakanlah aku ini dicintai dalam hati setiap orang yang beriman dan jadikanlah aku ini dicintai dalam hati semua manusia."
[ Bagus kalau kita mengamalkannya slelau. :) ]

" Ya Tuhan Kami, anugerahkanlah kepada kami pasangan kami dan keturunan kami sebagai penyenang hati (kami) , dan jadikanlah kami imam bagi orang -orang yang bertakwa."

Dalam hadis riwayat Tirmidzi dan Hakim, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. berkata, " Mintalah kepada Allah sedang kamu yakin terkabulnya, Dan ketahuilah bahawa Allah tidak mengabulkan doa dari hati yang lalai lagi bimbang."

Yeah... That's all for the tips for today. If i have more i will share. :D
May Allah be with us. Amin.

With Love,
Anirah

2011-08-18T15:33:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hello there! I am pretty upset actually. But whatever it is, just move on and be happy. I got to know that he activate back his fb without me knowing and change his password without me knowing else well. Congratulation. :) I don't know what else to do to resolve this problem. All i can do is just pray and hope that everything will be fine. So, yesterday was fun! with Sheila. It's been awhile we see each other? Dang! It was an awesome night singing and play with the guitar together. HAHAH! What a night... ;D We ate Cone Stone ice creammmm :D sooo nice! Oreo something.. for the flavor. Yummy!! And i wore tudung. Heheh! Feel like erm.... Something new. And i want to continue doing that. Insya-Allah very soon! In the office, so far a bit busy and if i have the time, i blog. I think that's the only way for me to express my feelings. Hmm.
Anyway, i gtg now. I have so much to tell but.... i really got no time now.

Allahumayassir Walatu'asir.

With Love,
Anirah

2011-08-17T13:53:00.004+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hello! Yesterday break fast alone again. I think i have to get used to it. It's not fun eating and break fast alone ok. The reason i break fast alone because i have tuition class at 8pm. I cannot be late. So, i took permanent class teacher for p2 maths. I used to relief the classes and now, i am doing it as a permanent class. My plans for the class to improve with their division and multiplications. Hmm. I thought of buying the stars stickers and when they get in total of 30 stars, they will be rewarded. Ain't that cute. HAHA! Now, i have 3 tuition class. Though they didn't pay that much, yet i still got extra income for my own saving too. :D Alhamdulillah, so far so good. At least the class ain't that much. I still can handle it. As for my other class at Punggol, i am still trying to figure out how to handle them. Ain't that fun tuition one to one but i got to be strict next time round. I will be doing the same thing also about the stars stickers. So that they're willing to persevere to study to get reward from me! hehehe. Insya-Allah, i can teach them well and make them pass their exams with flying colours. For my tuition classes at hougang, it will end before my evening class start. Luckily heh. As for the Punggol class, i need to think about it. i need to discuss with my cousin. :0

I was quite beat off yesterday. When i reached home, i watched wujud6 with Along. It was ok lah. While tallking on the phone with him, it was random that i want to accompany him listen to mj12 even though we're not staying with each other. The thoughts that count. ;D
And guess what!? He slept first. I was the one listening to mj12 till finish? HAHA!

I am on a proper diet. :D Erm, so i think that i should just eat bread and drink milo to gain energy. Less oily food and less carbohydrate. Drink vitamin juice and exercise a lil. xD i need to maintain 55 kg at least. Now i am 58 kg. 3 kg more to go! Hopefully i succeed!! AMIN. The reason i want to go for a diet because my legs, they have big muscles. For my body, they are just fine. Only the hips n below parts are the most difficult part for me to maintain. If i can gain muscles at my stomach which is the abs, i am sooooooooo happy, a million time happy! HEHEHE... Also, i am in the process to wear back hijab. Tudung i mean. To think of it, i am not active like i used to in school and i don't club either. So, why must i wait till im married and got children? Why not now. Correct? Hopefully i can wear it as soon as possible. Amin. :)
I want to lead a new life and as you know, we don't live forever in this world. We will come back to HIM. You never know that tomorrow might be the day and the day that you will say goodbye to everyone or you might not have the time to say goodbye to everyone. That is why, always forgive each other and never keep grudge with each other as we are all human being. ;)

Always seek for His forgiveness and repent every time when you think that you should stop. It is not wrong to repent as He will guide you, insya-Allah and will always be by your side if you have faith in yourself and faith in Him. As He who create us, will never deceive us. Subhanallah. As He is the Almighty. Allahu Akhbar.

Will blog soon again.
Salamun'alaik.

With Love,
Anirah

2011-08-16T13:32:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Recently, lots of things had happened. Alhamdulillah, i've managed to control whatever i am doing.
The other night, when out with Zahidah and her friends to Victory beside Zam Zam. At first we wanted to eat at Zam Zam but it was packed. So we had to go Victory instead. The food was nice and it was fun sharing food during fasting month. I was kinda shy to talk to them cause i barely know each of everyone there except for Zahidah. After we ate, we went to Sultan Mosque. It was near so we had our maghrib prayers there. :) It was blissful cause we got to go and pray together. We thought of heading to Bazaar Geylang but we ended up at Mcdonald opposite Raffles Hotel. I don't talk to the guys. Most of the time i was with Zahidah. It was nice meeting everyone.

Yesterday, the plan was supposed to be me and him BUT the plan changed cause i thought of finishing my work after i iftar at his house. He suddenly said he's going to meet his friend and then it was canceled. Ended up me and Atin went out chilling with the full moon at Pasir Ris Beach. :D it was fun talking to her about the past and what's happening lately. Overall, i had fun with Atin yesterday. He was upset with me cause he thought that i didn't trust him as i wanted to check his phone. Oh well... I guess i should stop doing that and do my own stuff instead.
I got no more Facebook cause i think it makes me more negative towards him and vice verse. Stupid. If only i am not so jealous and very easy going person. Hmm. Somehow, being an easy going person have it's limit too. :( How i wish i can easily brain wash myself not to think of the negative things. Hmm. I want to spend more time with him. I guess time is very short. :(

Last 2 days, i dream about this guy which i got no idea who is he. In my dream, i was very close with that guy and yes, i am still with my bf. In the dream, i was quite happy with him. I enjoyed my days with him but it ended awhile. My friends and the rest of my family were happy to see me with him being close and yes of cause, we were just friends. But in that dream, the guy likes me a lot. I remembered that i laughed with him in the dream and then... a voice from my right side asked me " what about your bf? what are you going to do about it" something like that... and i kept silent for awhile. i think of my bf and i love him as i always do. I woke up and smile though at the same time i was blur about the weird dream. I said to myself, it was just a dream. Lol.
I can't simply love someone else cause i love him deeply and i can't describe it by words. Only Allah s.w.t. knows how big my love for him.

Will continue again soon. :)

2011-08-11T17:29:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

After i told him that she poke him at fb, he suddenly burst. i think i get off the limit? or i have the rights to do that? i dont have mood to do my account at all. :( he deactivate his fb and so do i. anyway, i think fb really makes me become like this and always check on him huh? I think i am acting like a jerk? i suddenly feel like i miss him a lot. i shouldn't act that way right? i don't know. i always feel sorry for everyone... and when comes to myself. hmm.
Haish.. i should have just keep quiet and shut my mouth. Let him cool down first. Sometimes, i wonder why is it so easy for them to ignore the one they love... and so easy for them to their own things and need their own time when they actually have their love ones to make them happy. Well, i do understand that everyone have their own privacy... but not every time a person need to have it's own space right? If that happen, then don't even think or bother to have any relationship with anyone. Okeh. i am out of the topic.

so basically, i always make him angry. Maybe it's in me? I don't know. i think i should just keep it to myself and be like what i used to do. Always write and always blog. Actually, i feel panic too. how do you feel when someone like your bf eh? Yes. i am having that issue now. I really hope that i can manage to control my panic and crazy attitude. Can i brainwash my own brain?
i think of that a lot of time till now. i think i should relax and think carefully about myself, my behavior towards him and how i used to be back then. ok go!

~~~

So i guess i should talk to him nicely and slow talk about my behavior and his also.
i must go now. Will blog more soon. :) i gtg for tuition!

2011-08-10T13:40:00.003+08:00

Bismillahiramanirahim.
After knowing the truth, i really hope that it's just a story. It sadden me every time i think of it. Even when i try to make myself busy, it will just come to my thoughts. But i never fail to pray to Allah s.w.t. for my own good. Never i give up in anything i want to do to achieve in my life. I really hope that she will find someone better than him that can make her happier. Amin. i am not being selfish.. just that i dont want him to be taken away in my life. I also don't know when i will go and maybe this year will be my last yr break fast and celebrate hari raya with everyone. You will never know when the time will come. Yang datang dari Allah, akan kembali kepada -Nya.
Subhanallah. i am so patient and try to hide whatever i feel right now. My smile were just to cover every pain in me. My happiness is to cover my sorrow in me. What else can i do other than praying and be patient to what is happening in my life now... i hope that he will be loyal to me. Amin.

Ya Allah, please give me the strength to hold this pain in my heart. Give me the patience to go through every circumstances that im facing right now. Amin.

Allhumayassir Walatu'asir.
Amin

2011-07-31T14:42:00.002+08:00

Soooo.. i didnt bring my diary along. :( forgot.

i am very upset with everyone around me. EVERYONE. i dont know where to go also.. i thought that if i go home, ill be happier but nope.. it's the same. Here n there.

i am soooooooooooo upset with everyone in my life.

So angry here and i can only cry.. But i dont want anyone at home to know how i feel right now. I cant hold my tears anymore. the anger in me just make me sooooooooooooooo ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... i want to run away from everyone if i got the chance to.. :)

Just let me clear my mind. im not trying to escape from my own problem just that i need to stay away from people and let me be with myself and my time. I don't know when i can find that time.

i dont even have my own privacy at home or even in singapore.

Ya Allahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................... :(((((((

2011-07-28T17:59:00.003+08:00

seems like i have to switch off everything in my mind and heart for the month of ramadhan. i need to think of myself and about this affinity im going through now. though there's no fight but there's still cold war going on. I have to be strong.. and i wonder about RESTU...

im need time for myself. insya-allah bile blk msia ni, dpt tenang kn hati and jiwe. i really have to stop these shit and be cruel a lil for a moment.

Be Closer to Allah s.w.t.

2011-07-26T10:56:00.002+08:00

the feeling of "insecure" is back.. not me but him. i dont know what else to say or to help him. he doesnt want any of my help adey. what can i do?? i feel like im not appreciated at all. :(
it's sad to hear those words from him. i dont want to think to much abt it. Here, im spilling it out. EVERYTHING. i cant keep it long enough in my mind...
yes, i do know guys apparently got their own EGO. But u cant simply follow it to an extend you destroy yourself and also another person's feeling too.
I don't know what else to say... I feel so numb and all i can think is the positive side. I know things will be alright. Of coz, it will take some time. I can wait. I can be the most patient person you'll ever know.

Not because i love you but also, we're fighting over a small matter. Why listen to what others say about you n me? When actually all this while, we were just fine.....
Nothing actually change. it's you who think that things change lately.
Tell me about it. These gonna be your life. Work, family and friends. It depends on how you manage it. Im still learning so i can't say much about it...

Ya Allah, Hopefully things between me n him will be fine as soon as possible. Amin.

2011-07-11T17:00:00.003+08:00

Recently, things have been shaky. Though i try to stay positive and happy. I really dislike when he went back late or not going back at all. Seriously, do you have a problem sleeping at your own house? You used to tell me the you prefer to stay home and lazy to go out... What is this then? I don't get you at times. Really. Makes me pissed off every time you do this. Oh. I am also same as your mother eh? Congratulation. I think you should open your mind and ask yourself why we did this? We care. We love you. That is why. But i guess you don't care about it much uh? I don't think you think deeply about this matter coz you care more of your friend than the one who loves you and care you more than they do. I really hope you realize about this. I never hate your friends but i dislike the way they behave. Sometimes i think they don't have any future. Or should i say that they have bleak future? Hmm. I don't want to say anything bad over here. There's so much anger in me right now. I don't know where to start. You also make me feel neglected again. Sometimes i think that you're just using me when you need me. Have u ever wonder what can your friends help you more? I don't think they will help you more than how much i've help you at. Haish.

Aku hanya mampu menasihati kamu dan berdoa kepada Illahi untuk kebaikan mu.

It's not about love but also the understanding between each other. Trust, honesty and loyal.

Hmm... All this while, i just look back at you and see your actions. I feel like a doll with no feelings. Feel numb lately. I don't know how to say i love you sincerely to you either. I keep on wondering whether you really appreciate me. In what way? Just by saying it? It doesn't work at all. Actions speak louder than words. Yes, i do love you wholeheartedly but what is this? I mean lately you've been so different. Different that i can't even recognize you sometimes.

Where are you exactly? I feel lost without the real you. :'( Please come back and be my side when i really need you.

Please. Wake up.

Sincerely;

Anirah. iloveyou.

2011-06-23T11:38:00.002+08:00

Life changes its beauty all the time

Sometimes it’s a shade, sometimes life is sunlight

Live every moment here to your heart’s content

The time that is here may not be tomorrow

One who loves you whole-heartedly

It is difficult meet that person

If there is someone like that somewhere

That person is more beautiful than all

Grab onto that (person’s) hand

He or she may not be so gracious tomorrow

Live every moment here to your heart’s content

The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Taking the shadow of your eyelashes, when someone comes near

You try to reason with your crazy heart

Your heart just goes on beating

But think, that which is here now

That story may not be here tomorrow

2011-06-15T12:52:00.003+08:00

Hello... i really cant understand why you must lie when you can actually tell the truth. Even if you think that if you lie you can avoid from arguing then you are totally wrong. Yes, i do know when you tell the truth there will be some arguments but not as worst as it will be. Correct? I seriously dont get it what is there to enjoy? You can enjoy anytime you want but be reasonable at least. Not enjoy your time after work and dont go back home like as if you have been thrown out by your parents. right? haish.. seriously. Why must u be jealous of me? If i tell you im not enjoying my time it means im not. i mean it what i always say. Sometimes, u act and talk like u dont recognize me. Hmmph.

Even if i tell u millions of time, you still do the same thing right? You are not safe when you lie. Cause the feeling, the bonding is so strong that it always tell me something is not right somewhere. i am numb whenever this happen cause i am so used to it already. If you always think that you want to enjoy, why not you live life you own then? cause you always lie to me and to yourself just to enjoy. At times you always care more of your friends than me. I can feel that too. I really don't get it what they had give you all this while. if it's about the memories, oh come on. Even i can leave them and keep the memories to myself. Why do you still hang out with your friends that at times make your life difficult? who always try to ask for you help when they need you only? All im trying to say is please wake up. This is reality. Yes, you must be very sad when you lost few of your friends but have you ever wonder why? Because Allah s.w.t. don't want you to be with them. Ya Allah, Bukakanlah pintu hati dia dan berikan lah cahaya Mu dan rahmat Mu kepada dia. (AMIN)

I only want the best for you. I want you not to get hurt that's all. Everyday, every hour, every second, i always pray the best for you and your future. Hopefully you can lead a happy life ahead without them who always pick on you to do all those unhealthy things. Cause i love you so much, so dearly that i can't see you get hurt by them an inch. So, if i said things that might make you irritated and tempered, please don't get mad with me cause i know it's the best for you and me and your future. If all this while u think that i think of myself for my happiness, i'm sorry. You are wrong. You are my happiness all this while. You are the route that leads me to the journey of my life, of my happiness. To see you happy is my answer to everything. I love you. :)

All of these are just for you, the one and only in my heart. <3

Sincerely,

Anirah.

2011-04-23T13:23:00.004+08:00

Hello! its been awhile since i blog uh.. anyway, lately people around me are just fine.. just that i lost my 100 bucks in my wallet like that. -___-" never happen to me for so long already. so sad. My dad gonna try to appeal for my school. I really donno what to do. I want to continue schooling and at the same time, i need to work to earn my own money and savings!Hmm... between me n my dad, it's been rough recently coz i always argue with him about what im gg to do in my future and all.. well, the reason why these happened coz i dont like staying in msia. My dad is not happy with that. Like duh uh.. i grew up in singapore. All my friends and family are in singapore. Who the hell want to stay in msia for so long? There's nothing there. A lot of culture shock too in msia. Lol. My life will definitely be in singapore with my future husband. :) Hanging out with friends, i dont have much time for that also. First, i live with my aunty. So obviously i cant rebel much right? Must behave... secondly, i'm working. Thirdly, i spend more time with my family members and boyfriend only. It's even harder for me to meet my bestfriend. SO NEAR yet SO FAR. Alhamdulillah, i still manage to enjoy my life as a teen. :) I can't wait to go ECP tomorrrow with my syg, mami nana and abg zuki.. Also with the rest of abg zuki's fren... HEHE...cant wait for tomorrow!!! :D im gg to cycle from eunos to ecp with syg. nyehehe... alright.. byebye and take care!

2011-04-01T09:30:00.003+08:00

hhello... things have change now. especially when we are busy with work... well, to me if you really know how to manage your time you might have no problem with it. im quite jealous actually.. when the time i really want to spend time with you, you're either busy with your frens or your work.. at times, when you're resting or having lotsa free time, u dont bother to meet me and giving me excuses. i just keep quiet coz i know that to you, its not important. all you can say is merepek lah.
but each day, u tend to ignore the time we really need to spend together. can u tell me.. if u meet a person for awhile today and tomorrow u wanted to meet again but abit longer and all the person can say... " how many times you want to me in a week?" Yet, i kept quiet. the reason i keep because i don't want to tell the person myself what had happened lately.. i want them to realize themselves. sad isnt it?? especially when you're trying to find some attention from your love ones and this is what happened. *sob*

2011-03-21T09:56:00.003+08:00

its been awhile seen i tell you what had happened recently right?
well, there's nothing to tell actually. haha. erm... Alhamdulillah everything is fine here. Though there were ups n downs but i am definitely just fine.

I love to hang out with bf coz i seldom meet him and really spend time together with him.
The both of us got our own things to do. Very soon, if i got in to poly life will be different. New chapter begin and meet lotsa frens out there. Hopefully it wont be that tough yeah. Amin.

Thanks to beloved boyfriend i am still standing on the ground. Thanks to Allah s.w.t. also that i found him. Amin.

k take care.. will type soon

2011-01-22T22:22:00.003+08:00

im always quiet and very patient in everything i do, with people around me also.
Sometimes, i feel i've been step on the head so many times yet i dont know i still keep quiet. i wonder why i can't just expload like other people. why isit so hard for me? i've tried but it didnt work. i still keep quiet. That doesnt mean when im quiet im fine. fuck. i am not at all.
malas nk lyn bende gini. so, might as well 4give n 4get.

and please people. Stop saying SIAL. setiap kata2 itu doa. Everyday you say it. One day, it will just happen and will be forever. think before u say something first ok.

2011-01-22T12:54:00.002+08:00

work politics are the most irritating thing ever!.... yet sumhow,.. i will stay positive no matter what. at work.. everyone is itself. U have to stand for your ownself no matter what.
And i find it funny too!!! hehehhe...

2011-01-14T18:29:00.003+08:00

things aint the same anymore. though i know things must not always be the same.. and people change tooo. hahaha. anyways. aint that fun in sk nimore. not like how i used to work with them last yr. dang.. its abit awkward but at the same time, i dont give much damn abt those people.
i just work to get moneyyy. :D

3rd day at work... wahhhhhh pain siah!! my body n leg all cramp.. and i gain sum muscles too xD hahahahahh!! Busting the trays aint that easy! Lol.
i miss the old part timer who used to work with me.. and now.... they lack of part timers. They dont take TCC anymore due to management stuffs.. idk eh. haha. thats wat i heard.
more philiphines now... around my age too. :P they are the trainees.. 6 mths attachment.
Its weird coz they dont look like philiphines. HAHHAHAHA. xD got chinese look liao and some look like malay also. gaaaa.
Really boring coz no one really entertain me.. hahhahaha at work ahhh. Coz i dont really noe who to talk too seh... sad rite??anyway.. this is for the time being only. so yerps.. hopefully ok lah kn. insya-Allah.

thats all. BYE!

2011-01-11T22:33:00.005+08:00

sometimes when u talk to sumone and you tried to explain in a simpler way, they just dont seem to understand. maybe they were hearing it but not listening to it. Well, how to say ah??? i feel so geram at times when it comes to this situation. and you know how serious i am when i talk something important.

i DISLIKE to see or hear my love ones upset. SERIOUSLY. i tend to get angry and how i wish i can help to solve their problem. Some people just dont understand much about me yet. They really need a long time to predict me. im VERY unpredictable frankly speaking. i tend to change my attitude any where any time.

and i DISLIKE arguing things that arent rational to talk abt... stop it. Please.

Haish!

2011-01-10T17:14:00.005+08:00

- jangan pernah main dengan kata-kata. Setiap kata itu doa. -

yes.. i feel soooo mad just now. even upset. You can tell me anything but please don't act or talk seriously and asked for something. When you get it, you said you were just joking. After all the hard work.. got the talked from everyone, you think it's that easy for me to be ok? Not at all. i wont show you my tears nimore.

tell me people. How u show thank u to sumone u love. How u show appreciation to sumone one u love. Better do it now before it is too late.

Anyway, i wonder. What happen and what does it mean when you dream that you are going? You yourself dream that you are going... what does that mean? i had that dream before. i just couldnt find the answer yet. i do know if you dream sumone else passed away.. they live long. but wat abt urself eh?

take care out there.

2010-12-26T08:49:00.004+08:00

i am so restless yesterday night. Though i had dreams.. yet almost every hour i woke up and then sleep again. It is indeed very irritating. Why??

My brain was blank. i can't think of any problems or what so ever...

Basically, me and sof n hrz planned to go singapore this wed BUT we have not ask any permission from our parents. Hopefully we can :)

If it's comfirm.. I AM SO EXCITED!! haahahha. Well, at least before new year i will come back to msia.. cousins are coming over to bbq at home. NYehehhehe! imma upload loads of pics!!!!

2010-12-09T10:51:00.003+08:00

SOME ARE JUST

Can i live my life quietly?? Some just can't SHUT their mouth huh?

Obviously if they really care they don't do this to me. And Hell NO! They don't deserve any respect and love from me. Why must i anyway? Oh.. It's because in the past we helped each other and you want a pay back.. like indebted or something like that? Obviously you do things not sincerely... i don't want to accuse BUT that is what i see right now. Nope. I saw that for YEARS. What's the reason and what do you get after telling about it...AKU DUDUK MEREMPAT!? You got brain or not?

I stay Sengkang happily even though there's ups and downs. The past is the past and i've move on. It's a lesson to me. And why must you bring up that topic? NASI DAH JADI BUBUR... what can you do about it? Ergh!!!! Do you know how upset am i right now knowing all that...Like i said, the closest ones are your enemy. They just simply can't see you happy in any way and try to pull you down no matter what. You think i will stop? NOT AT ALL! This is the reason why i seldom see all of you. I seldom want to hang out with you. Don't ever think that i don't know a thing what you did behind my back. It's ok. Backstabber, hyporcrites will always be. i seriously got no time for these kind of people. i might forgive you but don't easily go Yayaya.. Allah s.w.t. saja yang balas kejahatan orang mcm ni.

Bye.

2010-12-03T10:25:00.003+08:00

lately he's been so grumpy.. even on the phone but i know he is not in a gd condition. so i bare with him.. try to understand him. =) i really hope that he will get a better job and will be happy with the new job. :) i don't want to put any pressure on him anymore. i'll just go with the flow. Though i know.. i don't know how long will this relationship will end.. but hopefully till marriage.
I really had enough of having relationship for the moment.. i just want him to be the last thats all. Ya Allah, tolong lah hamba mu yang lemah ini. Amin.

i will love you forever.

2010-12-02T11:37:00.003+08:00

everyday..lotsa things came up.. haish. -.- i just dont get it why..why this time? hmm..
Now the problem ain't abt me. Sometimes i just dont get it why some people just dont understand with their own family... and u dont even trust ur own family members? C'mon lah.. it is cruel u noe. maybe yeah.. i dont wanna get involve but i listen to what this person have to say.. and he got his own rites to do what he wanna do.. just trust him will you.....? people deserve chances in life. Can't u just sacrifice a bit for him..i know that u guys cant take the face that he change. Change to be someone that you guys dont expect that he will be.. But u never know.. and see what had happened now.. he dont have ur support. You guys dont give any understanding withing each other. The bond ain't there. Siblings, parents??? Allah.. seriously i dont understand.

Ya Allah, Engkau tolong lah hamba mu ini.. Tunjukkan lah jalan yg benar dan bukakan lah hatinya. Berikanlah cahaya Mu Ya Allah yang Maha Pengampun. Aamin.

2010-11-29T10:22:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Thank You Allah. Everything is settle btwn me and him. i am so glad that we talk nicely and settle it in a mature manner. =) At last he admit eveything and same to me also.. i was really glad that i got to meet and talk to him.

Ya Allah, aku sangat bersyukur kpd mu. Thank You Allah s.w.t..

2010-11-28T08:29:00.004+08:00

just imagine this. situation. you were at ur bf's house and he talked to u in a serious mood. he said u go and find sumone better that can take care of you.. and its been months he kept telling you the same thing.. What's in your mind back then when he said that to u? My answer.. why you gt sumone else? In that situation i asked him why.. you gt another girl.. i wont be finding another guy... He said SORT OF like another girl.. While you were sitting down looking at him and after he said that to you.. what did you do? Well, i just cant take it anymore so i stand up and leave the house. He called ur name but by calling ur name is that enough to u? My answer is NO, because at that state of matter ure mad at him and by calling names is nothing.. why bother to look at him when he called my name? well obviously i will stop instantly if he said im sorry i was just joking... maybe at that point i'll might subside the anger abit... I've waited for few mins.. but no calls. Even he said he tried to search for me, he shud had call me first.. right? and why why why oh why.. this happen? Yes. NO point crying over a spilled milk but hey.. u can clean it up. Right? Get this right.. the reason we dont cry over a spilled milk coz its done.. but although its done and its the past.. time is running and you know better that you can still salvage it. if u have the guts to at least wipe and clean up the spilled milk.. isit difficult to do something like that? Do you actually know how hurt deep inside me when this happened to me?? Partly i admit i shoudnt have thrown the stuff you gave me but i was mad and i didnt think anything.. i told u ....if im mad and angry i dont think even a sec and will just do wtv it takes. you said i was rude throwing the stuff back to u.. and wont be forgiven..? what abt the prank u did to me? aint that rude also...? haish.

Ya Allah, Engkau beri dugaan smpi ke tahap ini..

And yeah.. the actions i see.. i thought its over.. and by telling ur mum it's over... you take it as a yes? i thought u will stop me and said no...but however..u know what i mean. Even you put ur status complicated..have u ever think of me?? Have You? and you said to me 4 times.. i think we shud go on our separate ways.. 4 blooody times. and ive said none.
Kau sanggup tk pergi cari aku kat luar just to see my condition ? Kau sanggup tk pergi cari aku utk selesaikn masalah ni? u dont want ppl to know abt us? i doubt so.. org mesti tau psl terang2 status kau complicated. Sakit seh hati aku tgk tu status.. Aku tk ubah tu status pn. Kau sndr kate u dont have to let the whole world to know. Pada aku kn.. to let the whole world know tade dlm kpl otak aku sikit pn. kata fb..mestilah org bace kn.. den wat u expect seh. Sampai bile kau nk ego dgn aku. Semua org tego aku.. Anirah asl u syg sgt kat dier. Anirah masi blh tahan ngn dier to this extend..klu org lain da tgglkn.. Entah, Anirah tak tau. Ini Anirah, klu dah syg mcm ni lah. Tapi nirah tk tau mcm mane dier appreciate nirah. Tapi Anirah berharap satu hari nnt, dier sedar cinta nirah ni bkn permainan.

Anirah, u'll find ur way..... Cause Allah is always by urside.

2010-11-24T12:50:00.003+08:00

From now onwards, i wont show how much i care for you..i wont show u how much i love you. i wont show you how much i miss you. i wont show you everything. i am sure u will be happy after this. Now i know how much you feel when i did that to you.. the answer is RIMAS. Thank You very much boy. It hurts. a lot.
Tapi kau tak tau kn.. kau pon buat mcm tu kat aku... kau tk prasan kan... tapi tkpe.. aku faham semua nye.. klu kau rase ni sume merepek pada kau.. aku tau aku ni memang merepek pada kau. Semuanye lah kn... aku sensitive... aku jealous gini gitu.. Takpe lah. aku tau aku siape. Aku sedar. Terima kasih banyak2 ye. Aku takkan tanye kau lagi psl diri kau lagi. Kau tanye aku jwp je. Kau rimas kn.. okeh.... Hidup kau lagi senang lagi rapi kalau aku tk sebok psl hidup kau pn.
hahah..

='(

[kau dah buat diriku ini seperti batu. Seperti manusia yang tiada perasaan.]

Itulah aku buat masa skrg.

Thank You.

2010-11-22T10:23:00.003+08:00

you should now by now how does it feel when ure sandwhiched right? i am. Really. Sometimes, i really had to do my very best to make others happy coz i dont like to my love ones upset. Like lately, i went to U.S.S. i planned to go with my bf but somehow i went with my cussins first as it was a treat for me. if i reject they might think other things. So might as well i just accept it. At the same time i know that he will be upset with me coz we were supposed to go together first. Hmm... Put that aside now.

Another thing that i really feel so neglected. Well, everyone should now limits. Right? So isit my fault that you have to work long hours? NO. I didnt say that it's my fault but u make me feel that way. Yes, im sensitive but at the same time have u ever think how i feel? Do you like it when u're concern abt him and somehow he's like doesn't want to know abt it as he is tired and lazy to talk. Ermm... well..at least when u talk on the phone with me, said it in a NICE TONE not in the dislike tone like as if im ur worst enemy ure talking with. Damn. i feel like smashing my head and chop myself and kill myself. i am giving u space anyway. i encourage in whatever good things u're doing but at the same time i feel that it's not enough. A small part in me knew that something is not right and somehow my instinct telling me u're hiding something from me? i dont know abt that. You are not happy.

i also think that i deserve to feel this way coz of my past. Someone. Left with no reason. It's just pay back. I dont believe in karma. All i know there's reason why everything happened. Hmm..
i want to be the happy-go-lucky anirah again. Lately ive been so moody and i dont really enjoy in whatever im doing. Haish.

Sabar aje lah nirah....

2010-11-10T12:23:00.004+08:00

what is love?

Love is everything in life.

you get life from love.

You learn to be loved from your families and friends.

Love teach you every single happiness and sorrow.

Love teach you how to be matured.

Love show you what life is.

Allah create us and give us everything that we need

because HE love us.

From Allah, we got love.

This is love.

2010-11-10T12:09:00.004+08:00

Deep inside me.. i felt like my heart is burning to black because i feel like im unwanted. I feel unsatisfied. I want to know what and who i am in your life now? This relationship... is it something that i really wanted and you want it too? Not easy to be faithful, truthful, honest and loyal to with who you are with. Haishh..

2010-10-29T21:01:00.003+08:00

heloo. im back in msia n got to meet my family except for my sis.. shes away.. i got to meet hariz n sofia first thing first. i really miss the both of them. Hehe.

So, ive already miss my dearest boyfren. Right now, all i want to do is TO FORGET everything that is negative. ;D i want to think of new things and enjoy my 2 weeks holiday here :D

Yet, i wish my Boyfriend is here with me. Haish.

2010-10-27T13:40:00.004+08:00

i dont know why everything happen around me just make me more upset and dissapointed. No matter who i am with or where i am. at times i feel like crying and at times i feel like bursting. yet im still the same. stay calm all the way. i always try my best to make others happy and satisfied yet it is not enough for them. the more i give the more they want and the more they step on my head. i hate to impress people around me coz i want them toknow who i am. i dont hide my colours even with my family. Why must i show them who i am NOT ?? To me, that is lame. Seems like the world is covered by plastic. i hate plastic. The more i tried to be happy, the more sadness i get. The more postive i be, the more negative signs come. i know. Opposite attracts. Yesterday, i feel down and now i feel worst. i want to cry but i keep. i want to let go but how. things are getting worser than ever. Even though i have people who support me yet at times, they themself make me feel worse. i am not a gd person. U dont get me dont you?? Life at work, life at home, life in love. They really make me feel like im someone useless. Damn it. now i feel like running away from everyone and mia. Hows that.
Will tell you more. Bye.

2010-10-07T20:11:00.004+08:00

Every now n then... things been very hard and complicated. Everything is not right. In relationship, family .. everything. Yes i noe im far away from my family. yet, u dont have to hate me for everything i do. And i dislike it when u interfere my r'ship until he himself dont trust me.
Even do, if he said he trust me i dont think he will asked other ppl abt me. Im sandwich. Somehow i just want to escape from this horrible nightmare. When everything is so fine and happie, All of sudden someone just come and bring down everything. especially happiness.i dont how else to tell ppl who i really love that i am not what u heard or foresee.

2010-08-29T17:33:00.002+08:00

Problem mmg tk abis kn.. Penat seh.. Lepas satu, satu. i got problem at work.. and yes i tell u... its never great to have family working at the same company.. I really am got issue with ppl who work with me. i dont mind but there's limit. and i think the limits are over. And yes tomorrow am gonna shout out when they confront. Especially to my sup. Cb. Why keep me in work if you think that i cant work?? Knn. Want to make me mad. Talk to me like as if im ur sister. Eh.... if u can talk to other ppl nicely.. den wat?? cannot talk to me nicely isit??
How u feel siah if sumone like this to u.. like Fuck ryte?!!!
Please uh... u dont anyhow make me like a toy uh.. i got feelings siah. Crazy uh.... den let ppl involve and call? Mepek. And if i want to complain to my cussin.. my problem lah.. who r u to stop me?? -___-"

Hmmm..... Penat uh!! -_-" tk nk masok campo.....
Resign!

2010-08-24T10:03:00.010+08:00

Hati paling lemah dlm diri ini.. Mulut paling jahat pada diri ini.
Betul tak??

Ckp salah.. tk cakap, lama sgt pendamkn perasaan. Hmm.
Lately, a lot of things ive gone through for the past few months.
Yes, there were moments that cant be forgotten at all.
Cry, smile. Cry, smile. Laughter.
I am not a goody2 girl honestly.
Sometimes ppl just misunderstood me that's because they dont know me.
They only see but never ask. I admit i am quiet. I only talk a lot with ppl who are very close to me. Berat Mulut. Yerps. That's me. I do socialize but only to the one i can be trusted.
I also think that maybe what i did last time, im getting it back. :) Nevermind. Coz that is a circle of life. Hees. I admit also that i am very stubborn. I asked for ppl's advice and then i will talk back like somehow i disagree. Actually. Nope. I agree. Not saying that im Ego but it's just me. I will later sit one corner or just day dream and think of what ppl had said to me.
My teacher told me once. If ure trying to make urself happy.. there's lotsa things will happen.
I know somewhere outside there, they just dont like me to be with him. I dont care.. i live my life.. you live ur life. Why must u be so concern? Or maybe just trying to be KayPo. Human. Haha. I didnt say im right. I tell what i think and what i feel. So there's no right or wrong here. Kan?? Honestly, it's not easy to commit but im trying my best though. ;) Even though im still young, i noe that im learning. Kan?? Really. I learn a lot. Past few days i was insane. My tots just burst.. I really cant take it anymore. I dont want to speak so i type. Berat mulut. :) Sad, the one who read it thought that i was talking abt him. NEH! it's related to family. FAMILY. ok?
Im happy but the other side, im upset coz he doesnt want to noe abt my 'private life'. Awkward.
Coz somehow, automatically from wat i noe in an affinity once ure together u care privacy or not u still want to care. :D right?! Erm.. Yeah.. just upset with that only. If ppl want to say bad things abt me i do this and dont do that.. nevermind. i will do wat is right. :) May Allah S.W.T. help me with this matter. Amin. Anyway, This is my blog so i speak up what's in my mind. :D

Boyfren, No matter what happened. No matter what people want to talk about us or try to seperate us..I will always LOVE You.

[ Yang tk blh jatuhkn kite, Buat Kite Lebih Kuat]<3

2010-08-22T18:32:00.003+08:00

manuasia mmg pandai ckp sal org lain. terpulang lah kau nk dgr ke tk... tapi kesabaran ade batas. nk ckp tu biar dpn2. Kalau dah dgr kata2 org..diri sndr mesti tau.
I got issues abt being LAZY.

Everyone have their time to be lazy or helpful.
Me lazy?? Of coz...Who doesnt???!
I have a certain time when feel so lazy that i just want to sit and do nothing.
But somehow i noe being lazy aint good so i tell myself get ur butt off.
i noe wat im doing... Allah S.W.T see wat i do and did.
So if ure trying to tell ppl around and make them hate me... im fine with it.. in future u just face it to Allah. i dont want to do anything abt it. Yes i noe ppl are stepping my head. Its ok.. Sooner or later,
May Allah open their eyes and see the truth. Amin.

2010-08-13T21:26:00.003+08:00

i never want to be dishonest to you but sumhow there's things that i have to settle before i can go to u. i dont know how to explain. maybe u might see that im head over heels to him but i noe myself. Only Allah S.W.T noes how 'head over heels' i am to him. Ppl see but they dont know what's really going on. Ppl heard but they dont noe whether it's true or not. i am being rebellious. Sometime, i just have to chase the time to dispute things. Maybe u think that i want to see him everyday or be with him 24/7. Actually, there's things going on. There are things that i can share but not everything.There's LIMIT ppl. You know that. In every happiness, there's sorrow.

Tell me who doesnt know abt that?? Everyone is going through parts and parcels of life.

Though ppl think that i dont have my teenage life, im having it right now. Anything happen, always have a valid reason to it. :)

No Matter what happen, am going to stay strong and fight. :D

2010-08-08T10:04:00.003+08:00

If ure in my shoe, how does it feel when u always stranded at home for so long and so hard for u to go out and enjoy ur life either with frens or family? Suddenly u got to be free (almost) u feel like going here and there either alone or someone accompany you. It feel great but somehow u just got to know that u have limits to everything. Everyday u got a plan just to make urself happy, how u feel?? Arent u glad?? Arent u feel blessfull to got the chance to be outside and got to see the world again? That's the reason why i always go home late (not until 12 unless i work).
This is what happen when u think of urself just to be happy. No one can understand how i feel when i got the chance to be free.. Yes, decision were made and choose by urself and yes at times by others. But you have to think whether its worth or not. Who the hell choose a decision that doesnt make urself happy?? If u make things flexible with me, im fine. But there's always limit to things u want it to be. Everyone noes that things wont be the same and the way u want it to be. On top of that, u just dont understand how i feel when i got the chance to do things that ive been wanting to do for so long. Decisions u made, i accepted with my heart open. Just think about it...

2010-07-17T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hi. Somehow i just feel frustrated with whatever im doing just not right.
Maybe yeah its my fault but u dont have to say something to me that harsh..
maybe its time for u to realize also?? Hmm..
i just dont want to take it personally. I take things easy this time coz i dont want to stress up myself abt small things that can be handle easily.
Yes, i admit that i am at fault. Im sorry. Just let me handle this myself. :)
I know when is the time i want to be at...

im just frustrated and its getting ti my boiling point adey.....
i am sorry to ppl who i love coz i dont entertain them like i used to.
i am sorry that i cant be the old anirah who used to make others happie..
but at this stage.. i want to find my happiness...
im sorry that im being selfish.. Honestly, Demi Allah s.w.t. Never once i forget those people who cares and loves me eversince they know me..
i am thankful that i have you in my life but this time u just need to do things for myself..
To make myself feel satisfied...... i need to enjoy life to.. Though i know i have limits. Yes. i wont forget my limits.

i really hope that you understand how i feel right now.
haish.

2010-07-01T11:00:00.002+08:00

Hi ppl,
latelty there's alot of things happen and it happen with a reason.
Ppl, have jealousy and yes who doesnt ryte??!
I do to have those kinda feelings... But there's always limit to everything.
I do have issues with ppl who just dont understand what im trying to tell them.
And they keep on telling me the same old thing. Hello!@!! i got other important things to take care of and what u want me to do if i cant do anything abt it already!?? U expect me to understand abt you, but you yourself dont understand what ive said to you ryte.... so who's fault isit now uh!? trying to make ppl listen to you and be by your side.. Attention seeker betol eh kau budak?!? u want to argue this things with my sis....... and even with me.
Tak fhm lah aku ngn manusia mcm tu. Ckp je understanding tapi ungkit2 lagi buat ape!??!

I love my boyfriend! Get that!??!

2010-05-24T20:06:00.002+08:00

I feel so frustrated. I didnt mean anything but you guys got me wrong. Totally wrong. Im here to learn new things yet in the first place you spat shits on me already. So its me who's wrong?? All this while ive been trying hard to respect each one of you still, talk behind my back.. what is there to talk about huh?? i talk nothing about you. I even try to communicate with each one of you yet there's no answer. You might think that i look blur and stupid but u knoe nuts about me. Yeah. ive been so patient. All i can do is smile. i even have the initiative to know what's going on around us. Sadly, u dont appreciate it at all. i did careless in work, i learnt from it. Yet, you said i am over confident and not independent at all. i depend on sumone too much. What are you trying to say? I dont even have the chance to do it myself. You people are always busy with your PEEPS. Had enough. Im gonna do what i can do. With You, Let God settle it with you. :)

2010-05-01T12:09:00.003+08:00

Hello..

I should have just tell you about it then hiding it from you. i know im wrong and this is the second time i've been doing this to you. Why? i can't even answer that but deep inside i love you no matter what. Haish. What's the point of me telling you this huh?? He don't deserve to be treated like this. ANIRAHHHH!!!!!! ape nie??!
i am sorry and this time i really am not gg to do that again to you.

2010-04-24T14:00:00.003+08:00

Hello.
It is so irritating and yeah trying to ignore it.
i miss my frens also.
im here working seh. I am not really enjoying it though.
Waiting to go for a holiday soon...

By the way, i feel so frustrated now. Just frustrated that is all.
New job.. OK' lah. Like that like this je lah...
Still prefer the old job. HAHA.
Nothing much happened.
I really want to go school again.

Right now, i just feel like wanna go for a long jog. Gaaaaaa..........

2010-04-09T10:53:00.003+08:00

Hello frens. Im not gg to school first. im going to work for maybe a year and save money and then i will be back to school again. :)
Its all for my futuree.. Well, at least now i can see it abit. going through the hard pace first heh.
Hmm. Anyway, i am not going to waste time now. i am so nervous for my new job now. :O!!
Will be working at changi north.

Nothing to talk about actually but what i noe is that i will not be onlining that much though. if i have the time then i will. really had fun with ziba the other day. went jogging with her and yeah took pictures and become crazy at night! :D Awesooome... =)

thats all to talk about for now. chawwwwww byebye tc ;))

2010-04-02T14:47:00.001+08:00

isable is gone now.so sad... im gg back to spore also.

am not gg to online too often. ahha i am restless too...

i think too much. i feel like wanna kill my brain too. ahahaha

2010-04-01T14:52:00.003+08:00

im having the same problem again. i am freaking fed up. tired and afraid of everything that i love will leave me. i fear things around me. Haish.

Some people might think that i am crapping but nope. this is how i feel through out my whole entire freaking life ever since i stay in Msia. this dilemma never stop. i am also afraid that one might leave me just because of my problem. Ive been trying hard to be optimistic yet there's a small part im being pessimistic. Everyday is a new day to me. In a blink, few things happen in front of me. Unwanted events too. Sometimes, it just make me numb. All i did was just stand and think of NOTHING. Stare only.

I also wandering about in the house. Wonder when this will end. I want to begin a new life, new episode but there's a thick wall blocking my way. Hmm. i really can't escape. Only God knows how im going through this problem. i hate it when i cry cause i can't do anything to make me feel better.

At times, i also think i am a coward coz i am afraid of lotsa things happening in life. If can i dont want to go through the shits but i have too. Mum said, if you want something in your life you have to be ready to face all the consequences in life. This is what they call life. Every human being in this world face the consequences. You cant expect things to be perfect always. And not to brag about this, people said i am a soft hearted person. At times i just want myself to not be that soft hearted.

Then, if i tell anyone who i am close with, i will definitely burst into tears. i am weak. People also might think i am a self-centered person but what you know?? my future is my no one priority. Once, a noble man said to me " Think of yourself before you think of others. Because only you can make choices and yourself happy for your own future."

Some people say nothing last, but if you think carefully there is.

2010-03-30T20:03:00.002+08:00

Sad... Didn't get to poly cause of the overwhelming list.. It's ok. There's always other ways to find.

Everything went wrong actually. i knew it. going back to malaysia for a mth aint the solution.

Waiting for the email in msia is totally wrong. i should just stay in Singapore and immediately register for poly, o or even A lvl. Haihs .... what is done is done. Move on. Having a dilemma about registering myself to private school cause its kinda late for me already. ERGH!

My friends in Singapore are lucky enough to get into school even though they didn't get the school they wanted but at least they are schooling. Unlike me, stay here for nothing. NO LIFE LAH! @#%$!@!!!!! Hmph... im feeling frustrated right now. Register, money and time. TIME especially.

Seriously, don't waste your time do nothing. KEEP QUIET ONLY UH!?? thats all i can say uh for now. fish this . screw this. kill this.

2010-03-24T11:31:00.003+08:00

Ola!

It's been awhile i didn't camwhore.

i am so lazy to take many many pictures.

NO mood lately to take picture of myself.

That picture was taken when i went p.ubin with

A'at's family and together with Kak Arni's family.

No stories to share also.

Lately, i just stay home and play computer games.

Nothing much. i'm actually waiting for an email or call from poly.

i don't know whether i get into the school or not. Hopefully i get. :)

(Amin)

For the past few days, i've been feeling quite down and not really happy

with what i am doing lately. No entertainment too. Well, if i want to go out with my

ally, i need to take out my money and spend. Which, i am trying to save it!

Main reason is i am not working anymore... -____-"

So right now, i left a few dollars in my bank. Sad uh??

I really don't want to ask money from my parents. I am big enough to be

independent and to think what's right to do now.

Reminiscing the past, i remembered that my cousin talked to me about

what i should and should not do. The lecture i got from my cousin. Not only that,

also the dilemma i always get. I also regret a few things and trying to learn from my

mistakes. I want to make a few confession to people who doesn't respect me.

Because this people knows that i am attached and still want to talk to me

like as if this people know what they are talking about. Cibs You.

I feel so pissed with people who so called themselves a FRIEND but they are

actually a foe. Uhuh. That is what i am talking about. They might think

that they are helping but they are not. So much for the help guys.

Stop pretending and just say it right into the face so i know what you guys

are actually thinking and talk about. Really one BIG thanks. Acting

like one Bitch heh!? Great...

Look into the mirror first will you!? Ahah. Seriously, funny...

Lately, i am restless and can't think about it too.

Too many things to share and at times i rather keep quiet about it.

It may be Impossible but i know it is possible.

i want to end things that makes me reckless and restless.

Get that!?! i don't think so.

i am not lost. i know what i am doing and what i am planning for.

Don't tell what to do. Advice is fine for me but no more than that.

Don't force me to things that i don't want too...

2010-03-12T19:22:00.003+08:00

Hey hello.. Didnt update for so long. hahah! am sorry for that.

Lots of things happened for the past few days. Some things just couldnt be bothered and

i just go on and do my own stuffs. Lately, ive been so worried about my results and guess what!?

i actually manage to go to poly. :))

Alhamdulillah.

But i dont know which poly i can go to. I have lots of ups and downs to and misunderstanding also.

Not only that, negative thoughts have been poisoning someone's mind. What else i can do? All i know is just convince them. Yerps. i never think that i am always right. i just say what i know and help for the best. Well, its up to the opponent to listen or not. Sad isnt it?

Things sort out the good way though. everything is fine now.

i passed my SPM results. 2A's is something den nothing. ;)

I make mistakes with whoever i am with. i try to please people who i love. i want to see them happy coz that is the only way that can make me smile. i feel sorry for those who is envy with me. i got no intention to do that also. im going through a tough time. Who knows heh? But i will make the water calm. Lately, i think a lot about my future, family, money, lover, best friends.

Yet, i still having fun! I can't just let myself be some kind of EMO right!!? -.- HAHAHA!

The earth is warming up now a days. Gaaaa!

Eating, not my fave adey. i just want to eat something cold only which is ICE CREAM! Ahahaa. Cooking, love it. Cam-whoring, HEll yeah! Slacking, Go for it girl! :D hehehhe.

thats me. Laugh and laugh and laugh... uhuh. All daaay....trust me! xD

Like everytime, i go out with ziba, A'at, Kak Aisha... GOsh.. i wont stop laughing when i went out with them. ;D Gile! :) ouh yeahh. Sazri and Syahmi alsooooo. Damn. Those two crazy bros..

But yeah i love them all!

Erm, i dont know which to go.. Poly or NIE!? orrrrrrrrrrrr....................

2010-02-15T19:42:00.004+08:00

Its been a few days ive not blogging heh.. i dont have the time and i am lazy to type also.. i seldom online coz im busy working. Am sorry. Well, my holiday is FUN!! i really had a great time with everyone except that i didnt got the time to meet my besty Ziba. huhu....
She's busy with school and me busy with working life.. Boohhoooo. -.- Sad isnt it??

the both of us really donno what is happening arnd us. As in, i dont know her story neither she knows my story. =/ So, i dont really celebrate my bday though but i do have fun with him...
got cake from my frens who work with me and got a cake too from my O.M.
i got elmo from syahmi and sazri and i really love it!! GAA!! ;D i got clothes and bags from my cussins. ;)) Enjoy ehh. 18 yrs old adey and i am legal to do stuff. Wahahahahahah!!Awesomeeee heh?

Alhamdulillah, my work place is ok.. Ups n downs are normal to me adey. i am use to it. =)
tiring. Everyday.... always want to sleep. HAHAHAH!! become teddy bear adey. hmm.. :P
So, rite now i just plan to do things organize and do as it is plan. Insya-Allah.
Hopefully, things will be better than before.
i had a nightmare that my cussins (my dad's side) hates me and the only person i can approach to is Kak Aishah. Scary sehh...... :O

im gg home to msia soon. hahah yeah yeah. ;)

2010-02-05T20:43:00.002+08:00

Hello There. For the past few days i didnt online. So busy and tired. Working and working. The other day went out with my mum and sis n bro was awesome! I oso went out with Shakila and Elyzza and it was fun too! ;)
Few ups and downs happened too. oh Well, what do u expect heh?? i mean Yeahh you have to tolerate it but eyh..it hurts. Even when you're trying to ignore it, still it plays in your mind. Get the picture?? i dont even noe the reason why and what i did. When i respect you, you dont even respect me. Is it fair? Not at all. i dont hate you but the way you treat me is like treating a who is heartless. Come on. You dont have to be so stuck up right? you dont have to give the face also right!? What do you get!?? And yeahh. trying to be one good person yeah? But actually you are ONE BIG HIPPOCRETE. hahahha. Call you HIPPO better. If i have the time, i will definitely talk right to your face BUT i cant be bother coz its freaking lame to tell you what you're doing is wrong.. You're big already and understand better than me. Still, you act like one small kid with a very lame attitude. great huh!??!

i really am planning my future and see what i can do about it. Trying to figure it out how to make things easy for me and people around me too. Not easy. I am not stress though but it is a bit complicated. Ahaha. i dont think you get it. hees!! i am thinking of taking two job so that i can support and save money for myself. Hmm.. Hopefully i can. ;)

Keep your options open and keep them close to you.

2010-01-28T23:19:00.003+08:00

This is random. I think.
To me this is important.
I don't know for the rest of you.
Being with someone for long ain't that easy heh?
Especially when there's people who can't really accept our relationship.
Sad to hear about it right? How do you feel when you're in that situation huh?
I don't need your opinion about that. That is why i didn't put any tagged board there.
Anyways, i really treasure it than anything else.
Even though it hurts to hear people calling names, i just act as if i am deaf.

It is better that way than you take all the words and make it
such a big deal to you right? So apparently, all i did was ignore and ignore.
Until today. Maybe some people can take it easily like ABC but not to me.
At times it get a lil over but i don't want to start an arguments and fight with anyone.
This is my first time to be with someone who i love for quite a long time.
Alhamdulillah, we're still standing strong. :)
All we need is more time.

I love you baby. Very much.

2010-01-28T21:55:00.003+08:00

hey there!! i am so sorry that i didnt update anything here. Its been so long that i actually update something. Practically, i've been working and working...The place is not bad except that there's a few spoiler who always spoil people's mood almost every morning. Irritating huh?? As usual.. 25 of Jan was Ahmad 'Abdillah's bday :D he is 22 yrs old already.. How fast is that!?? And im turning 18 yrs old for another 2wks ahead... SHOOOTS! hhahaha Time really flies.. Haiya.. Anyway, few ups and downs going on for the past few mths. At times, i just coudn't take it. It get over board and all i can do is just talk and talk and laugh. Luckily i am working.
Something unexpected happen too. Someone is spying or just eye-ing on us. i mean, i know what i am doing oustide and i know my limits too. It really annoys me. Even though i am so called FREE that doesn't mean i can do things over my limits right??! i know what i am doing. All i can do is just ignore and do my stuff personally. I can't be bother to think about too. i have lots of other things to do also. That doesn't mean i am Obsessed with him. Whatever lah k.. I can just say that i know what i am doing now.

At work, most of the time when i'm having my break i eat alone. It's peaceful and i don't have to know the unimportant things from other people. ;) It is much more better and really am in peace. Ahaa! Like i am in school, i seat alone with my food on my table. Happy eating and just think about my own problem and stuff. Isn't it better that way??? But at the same time, when it comes to working hour, you have to socialize too. Get what i mean?? Have the limits. ;)
This few days, i always miss my SYGs out there. Really.
Hmm. i am who i am. I know now what i should and should not do. Still Learning in a sense of observing everything.
'

2010-01-09T14:14:00.004+08:00

Honestly, i am lost. You're right though but there's things i couldn't share and things i can't say. Well, yes i am being ego and i have to throw it away but as you know i am not trying to be kind. That is just me. Trying to change is like trying to pick a perfect clothes to wear. Ain't that easy. All of us going through the toughest and the simplest way. Mine, i got no clue. Like you said, I AM NOT READY. Uhuh. i am not because i am still searching. Searching for what??! i am searching for my answer. I always got nightmare and those nightmares are telling me something that i haven't yet get the answer. Right now, i am trying to think about it. All the advices and the past are telling me SOMETHING that i couldn't really get it YET.

As you know, i am still young and just go with the flow. Whatever happen in my life now is destiny and i am the one who choose it to be that way. i am the one who have to face it alone. I am the only one who knows the story of my life. Bak kata abg sdr kesygan aku =) Thanks bro. ;D

Anirah is still searching....

2010-01-05T20:21:00.002+08:00

Got a job already. Alhamdulillah =)

2010-01-04T13:12:00.002+08:00

Hello Mello!
The Past few Days had been a very Fun and Energetic days to me!
I started to exercise again and yeah cycled with my cousins at East Coast Beach.
It was super duper Awesome! ;D I met few friends of mine and mostly my cousins. xD
Went to a wedding at Tampines and meet all my cousins(mum's side).
Well, it's been a pleasure moment to me all this while except i've been thinking about the past and present. Erm, what i mean is that i am trying to pull myself together to be wiser than before.
I hate misunderstanding and i may look happy but deep inside i am really not that happy.
As usual, few things came up and it really bother me but why must i waste my time thinking about it? Look at the bright sight nirah. =)

At times, i don't even know whether they really appreciate me or not. When we have the time to talk about it, it really hurts me. When i really show i care, they left me. When i don't really show i care, they say i'm selfish. Hmm... Do you think it's easy for me? Hah. To think about it, it really get on my nerves. Different people, different point of view. True. I really love making friends but i don't get over the line. I know my limits. Tell me something i don't know. I am the type who don't really care when you ask me a random question. Seriously. I told you before, i am really slumber. Right now, i am trying to find a job. Hopefully, i will get a job soon. =)
(AMIN)

2010-01-01T01:42:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!

I went out with dearie and met ziba and daeng at pasir ris park ;D
its been awhile ive been lepaking at the beach with dearie.
Dont really countdown though.
At the same time, i don't think i need to celebrate. xD
Really had fun with them ;))
i was hyper and GILE :D Well.. that's me!!
Awesome night.
i already miss my family too.
--2010--

I am Freaking Mad With You People.
Well, i hope that nothing bad will happen just because of your mouth.
Haish.....
I can't trust you one inch either. After what you did to me, i just can't
forgive you yet. Take time. Disappointed.
Sad though. oh well. This kind of people, i just can't even respect them.
But, i will do my part so that i will not show you my anger to you.

Hopefully, All my Beloved Out There We Will Be Together
And Forever With You.
Be Happy Always.
Enjoy and Aim What You Really Want In Your Life.
Don't Ever Waste It!

Love You Sincerely!

2009-12-30T13:27:00.002+08:00

Right now, im in Msia.

Just for one night.

New yr is really around the corner...

i got no resolution cause i know what i really aim for this time.

Now, i just need to focus more on what i really need to do.

hmm... i dont know where exactly im going for countdown. xD AHAS!

Planning though but ...

After this i will aboard the bus and off to Singapore!

Will tell you more :D

i am really glad that you are happy even though i know deep inside

there's fire in it.

2009-12-28T23:56:00.003+08:00

Everything happened so fast and i didn't expect this will happen again. It really hurt every inch in my heart...When this kind of things happen, at times the one u really need don't understand. Even if you try to explain to him/her, will they understand what you're trying to say? Will they get the whole picture? That is why i don't really want to talk about my own problem to certain people because of certain excuse. When will they actually understand what i want? Wherelse, i did my part by understand what they want. I really hate when there's stupid arguments and blame innocent people. Twist and spread the whole stories to people who are not suppose to know about it. It freaking irritating and honestly i know how it feels when you tell people around about other's problem. Oh Hell Yeah it's fun to you but it's more fun when you get your pay back.

Just buzz off will you?? i have been trying my best to sort things out and hoping that nothing bad or misunderstanding will happen. Yet, it happen. Thanks yeah??!? Happy Now?!!?

About You My dear, right now im being rebellious and yes it is hard for you to understand my situation coz i, myself can't really explain to you the real situation. i really love you and don't ever think i'm doing and acting like bitch doesn't mean i dont love you. I need time. Right now i just need to think...

i love you..........

2009-12-24T22:42:00.002+08:00

I went out almost everyday with my frens, cussins and boyfren :D hahahaha!!

Lotsa fun actually.. but i am lazy to type and tell you what i did for the past few days. nyehehehhee.

Got few heart pain also... irritated and frustrated.. hahaha. but who cares!?

Holiday must have fun! hehehehhehehehehehe

bye

2009-12-16T00:35:00.004+08:00

Hellloooooo!!! So srry for nt updating my events.. hehehhee
Been so busy after my spm . meet people which i really need t0 meet first! hhahahaha
So many pictures to upload. heheheh.

well, veronica was here so i hang out with her.. teacher Haq and wifey were here too. We hanged out and talk n talk n walk. hehehhe. Really talk a lot in a day. Went to mustapha center with awaz and aat den from there we walked all the way to lavender.. VERY FAR liao.. veron cnnt take it oredy. She keeps on telling us to take bus 107.. hehehehhe!!! Funny. xD

I oso went out with Mummy Nana to orchard...We really cam whoring seh.. it was fun!!! Heheheheh. The statues were cute and very nice!!! creative tooo. Right now im at my nenek house. i hang out with kak nur nd shisha-ing tooo with my cussins. Really love that moment.. ;D Had fun with awz n aat oso.. their craziness and beloness make me wanna kick their ass. xP Nyhahahahahha!!!! take care of the twins at home (sengkang) Cute lahhh but naughty!!

Had a long talk with my aunties and my kakak sdr. Really feel glad and its such a relief actually. i got really many story to talk and tell about but im really tired right now. ill update more tomorrow. ;) im gonna uplod pictures at Aat's house.

Ouh...somehow, i donno wht u see in me but what i noe im being myself. i know u barely recognize me but seriously, its not enough. Its really thoughful of you being concern but honestly, what u know about me is just not enough. =) Someday sooner or later we will talk like it was way back.

2009-11-21T19:44:00.002+08:00

How Messy Am I ?

Haha.

I dream.

I feel.

Something just playing in my mind

when i think about it.

Safe me.

2009-11-17T18:38:00.006+08:00

SPM

Schedule:

~~18.11.09- Bahasa Melayu Paper 1 and 2~~
~~Sejarah Paper 1 (MCQ)~~

~~19.11.09- English Paper 1 and 2~~
~~Sejarah Paper 2 (Essay)~~

~~23.11.09- Mathematics Paper 1 and 2~~

~~24.11.09- Pendidikan Islam Paper 1 and 2~~

~~25.11.09- Additional Mathematics Paper 1 and 2~~

~~<1.12.09->~~

~~2.12.09- Science Paper 1 and 2~~

~~7.12.09- Ekonomi Asas Paper 1 and 2~~
~~(Business Economics)~~

~~9.12.09- Perdagangan Paper 1 and 2~~
~~( Commerce)~~

After SPM, i'll be back in Singapore :D
ALL THE BEST AND GOOD LUCK TO ALL SPM CANDIDATES!!

2009-11-13T13:27:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 17th Birthday to ZAHIDAH & AMIRAH!!!

12.11.09

i hope that the both of you will always be strong

with the ups and downs in your life.

i know the both of you can do it!! :D

Take care and i Love You Both!!!! ;D

2009-11-11T18:12:00.003+08:00

Helo!!!

Graduation was awesome when it comes to the end.

All of us had the photo session. :D

This is an early graduation for us.

Although SPM is 7 days from now, we still have a few party left and then,

everything is over.

Thursday tomorrow, my class and few other students will celebrate

Pn. Liza's early bday =) We already planned how to prank her tmrw. xD

Friday, will be the class party . The last party we gonna have for all 5 Lambda's students and same goes to the rest. ;)

Till here. I will update soon k.

tc!

2009-11-08T21:21:00.002+08:00

HELOOOOOOOO.

there's more to post BUT i dont have the time to post ahh..

sorry eh.. nyehehheheh

2009-11-06T13:35:00.003+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum ;)

it's been awhile and i noe that i deleted my previous post.

few things really messed up in my head.

gonna leave this house by 14 nov.

I didn't come to school coz i am lazy to get my butt off the bed and help my mum pack and

wrapped all the stuffs. Too many things. I hate big houses :D

Lately, i've been thinking a lot about stuffs... i know i shouldn't be thinking about it but it

already poison my mind. -_-" Trying so hard that i hardly talk to people or

contact with people arnd me.

Overall, i think NEGATIVE.

which i really hate doing that.

bye.

2009-11-02T14:58:00.003+08:00

Hello to all readers.

ystd nite, i cant sleep and it was terrible... i think too much lahh..damn it. -__-
brape harini aku asek terasa je.. tah ahh.. mepek je. Ouh.. sch was fun tday.

Errr.. i feel sorry to whoever is mad at me for this few days. im sorry and i dont have the intention to do that.

Sorry.

2009-11-01T23:50:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 15TH BDAY TO MY SISTER, NURUL ARYNI BTE JAMALUDDIN!!! [01.11.09]

She grown up adey.. so fast eh.. i noee -.-"

Today, we went to a mall at Klang and watched PAPADOM.

U shud watch that movie seriously.. Its Awesome!!!

ok..So yeah. Ystd wasnt really a great day to me...

Im trying my best to put everything aside but i really need time.

Try to put a smile on my face... Anyone???

i always love you.

2009-10-28T15:50:00.004+08:00

Hello! I went to sch today and it was better than before. HAHA! I brought my hp to sch so that when i am dead bored, i can just listen to music :D hahhahah!! I did. I learnt sejarah, mly and did some of a maths revision ;)) Hmm.

i don't know why, but i am freaking restless. Ystd nite, i cudnt sleep well. i donno the reasons why. -__-" So, i am confirmed that i will be staying at Sunway Kayangan. The place is not far from Bukit Jelutong though but its deep inside somewhere near Kayangan Heights. Bleahss. I am gonna miss Jalan Ubin, Bukit Jelutong. Hais... Lately, i ate a lot. Seriously. -__-"

And i feel so relief that it rains!!!! :D :D :D the weather is not HOT like previous days... Alhamdulillah. =)

Ohh and also... my school, i mean the teachers... They cancel our graduation day!!!! -____-" How terrible is that!?? i mean like first is our senior prom next is this.. WTF!! How could this thing happen!?? We want to have life lah sehh.. So rabaks lah the school. Other people will be so happy with their memories which were, they had their grad and prom unlike us.. sec 5 students in BJ.. Pffft!!! STUUUUPID. BUT! we gonna protest it :D NYAHAHAHHA.. not fair lah if the teachers got their high tea not the seniors. Wth is that!??? GRRR!

What for siahh we pay the school fees so expensive then we didnt get our own benefit!??/ KNNCCB . ERGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Lately, nothing really happen. No story to tell also... yeahh that's all for today.. ;)

tc and study uh!!! HAHA xD

2009-10-24T19:02:00.003+08:00

i sat at home and reminisce about the past and think about the present too. i had a dream where my dad, all and sundry were talking and discussing about my future... it was a nightmare to me.

and now, i am thinking about what will happen right after i finish my SPM. Obviously i will go back to Singapore to enjoy and meet whoever i want too. At the same time, i will say bye bye to everyone in school and teachers too. How sad... very memorable. Aww. i read my diary from the beginning till this particular page. i laughed while reading what had happened to me through out my secondary life in Bukit Jelutong. hahh!! Especially in relationship. GAAA!! i sound so stupid and hilarious lah.. the sweet and funny moments really make me laugh. xD i didn't even think that all of that really happen. Not only that, the most hilarious part was, when i fell in love and when they leave my life. hehehe! What a life. Hectic and it really thought me a lot of things. I can't even believe that i can go through the thick n thin in my life. Hmm... i realize that people i really love dumbed me and then they come into my life again? The most pathetic problem was when i made the wrong moved. I really hate that part but What is life all about HEH!??? i am thinking about my life right now. i left only 3 weeks from now. SPM is so near yet, i am still here worrying about these things. HAHA!! All i care about right now is my religious, family, relationship and lastly, my descendants... =) The most important thing is WHEN i really mean it MEANS i REALLY mean it. i can't even imagine such things right now. What or when will happen... hmm. Don't say or think about it. You're wasting your time. Right!?!

Hopefully, i can face whatever that happen to me with patience . =)

i love you all!

2009-10-22T18:11:00.005+08:00

School was totally BORING!!! i can rot in the school. seriously.. -___-"

I rather stay at home and study... i didn't expect that school will be VERY boring.

hmm... few days gone and i always think of what will happen to me right after i am tarnished with school life. It's wayyy beyond my thoughts. ARH!!! :O!!

Hmm. Alhamdulillah, so far i got no problem with people around me ;D

Hopefully , this will stay till i finish my SPM . :D

Now, my visions are getting worse -.- i barely see things clearly and that really annoys me. BAHHH!!!! i want to change my spects but it looks like i don't have time for that.

My cute cat there, Isabelle. She is sick -.- pity her... She got bitten by another female cat and she actually hide her wound till this morning, her stomach was bleeding and i saw a hole there... The wound burst in her stomach and my parents brought her to the vet... Hopefully she's gonna be ok... She is EVERYONE favourite coz she's the only female cat we got! =/

And the most annoying thing is that she likes to be with a'at... -_____-" JEALOUS siahh!!!

Sebok je nk suke tu laki... haish haish. HAHAHAHH !!!

ok lahh till here.... Nothing to tell actually. Lol

tc bye!!

2009-10-18T19:25:00.004+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum!

A'at's family and my unlce and auntie came to my house and

reached at 5 am?? 0.o

So they slept and all of us woke up and all the ADULTS went to see my new house

at Sunway Kayangan. Lol xD

Left me, nini, shafii, aqil, epul and aat at home.

Den went all of them came back we went to Klang and after that

we visit our cussin's house at Sungai buloh :D We EAT!!! :D:D

Sunday morning, we went to Sungai Congkak and bathe!!!

Awesome i tell you ;D ;D

they went to Melaka right after we went to Sungai Congkak.

It was totally fun!! xD xD

all in memories <3

2009-10-16T15:06:00.002+08:00

Time to MOVE house...

Damn... Luckily, today is public holiday and we got time to pack our stuffs and clean up the room.

Quite tiring though. i Dont really help much coz my things aint alot. Unlike my sis, her stuffs are so many! With all the sec 1 till 3 books are freaking damn alot! Lols.

Ystd nite was awesome. I just like it ;)

i talked otp with Kak Aisha and talked abt the past. HEHE!

its damn funny!!

Haish. i miss Her ;D

2009-10-15T20:23:00.004+08:00

Dis is So RANDOM!

Ouh well... i got nth to do lah seh.

So, i didnt went to school as usual.

Went to school right after sch finish. I got remedial class for sejerah.

Sof n Lyn gave me my paper for my 1st prelim. it was freaking HILARIOUS!!!

Science, i really thought that i will fail badly but NEHHH!! i passs!!

hahaha. English was terrible. i didnt get wat i want though but its ok.

Too many CARELESS mistakes. thats me :D

Ouh.. Wtv....

Anywayss, i miss miss miss everyone!!! -___-"

2009-10-11T19:05:00.002+08:00

HAHHAH!!! So here are pictures of me with my BELOVEDs!! :D :D

the Whole day i face the com OV-ing webby with Ziba!!! Wahhahaha its been awhile we've been doing this :D Lol!! its so FUN FUN FUN!! Told her stories what's been happening and all. =))

Awww!!! heheehe. Nini n me sang song and i played the guitar. hwehwehwe.!! Look at my damn freaking WIDE smile! HAHAHAH! Me and nini even wrote our own songs :D i was in the mood and had this idea of making a poem into a song... TeehheEe! I will be gg to sch i guess. Lazy Bums! The picture of me and aat... my sis said that the both of us look like siblings. FUNNY! wat u think?? i am soo Happy today with Ziba and Nini and Aat and Kak Aisha!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!

2009-10-10T12:22:00.004+08:00

Happy 4th Monthsary Dear!!

je t'aime pour toujours et ne veux plus jamais vous perdre

(i love you forever and never want to lose you)

2009-10-10T12:06:00.002+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum.

Right now i feel so angry that i feel like punching the wall.

I don't get it WHY. Since i was a toddler till now...

I thought i can get through with it but when time goes by, i heard many stories and i feel irritated. I wish i can just say it right to your face yet, i got NO time to create a trouble scene with everyone around me. That is why i RATHER keep quiet and keep it. I know i know...Keep and swallow the pain will drive me crazy. Ain't going crazy ok. I just have to face people like you so,i put up a FAKE innocent smile. =)

At least i'm being nice. xD

Be MATURED and UNDERSTANDING will you??? Stop being two face coz i'll be doing the same thing and i HATE doing that. Arh.... -_____-"

I feel so terrible with this people . STUUUUUUUUPID.

That is why at times, i step back and be quiet than before to my friends out there before people open their mouth and spread rubbish to everyone about me. Screw YOU.

bye

2009-10-09T19:50:00.003+08:00

I wonder whthr it will last or not... i HATE when im on an unstable string. idk if what im doing will help me. I keep on telling myself stop thinking things that i shouldnt be thinking of. it really hurt me every now n then. Even if i say time will tell, what if i am not ready for it...?

Right now, i am not sure still if what i heard is true.

Giving trust to someone ain't easy coz once they broke it, it will never be the same.

I dont even want my past to come back again... i've trying so hard to move on and see the different. I know i need more patience in these. Hopefully, i can be more stronger than before and fight for it...

bye.

iloveyou!

2009-10-02T17:12:00.004+08:00

Me and Nini were bored.

So we did this.. AHHAH xD

For Fun only ok. nyehhehe

thats all i can give u. hehehhe xD

have fun!! this really release my tention

enjoy watching this random videooo =)

2009-09-27T09:38:00.002+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum!

Abg Azri came here with his frens and we went out to KL. ;D

it was Awesome!! haha even though the weather is hot!

We went to Damansara and eat. xD Wahh byk i tell u... We were there like for hours!!

Bahahhaha! We were damn hungry okeh. =P

We ate at the uptown or downtown idk. xP

But the food is superrrb! Should go there again. Nyahahah!

Ouh the Cicak there, it was so random. hahha xD

The cicak want attention too huh. :P

So called the "GIANT CICAK" hehehe

ye lahh. jakuns skejap. 8)

Well, that is all. Tomorrow will be my prelim again..

and i havent study yet. :O not only that, i still have my another 2 wks exam too. huhu -.-

wish me luck!

i miss him a lot!

2009-09-25T10:25:00.004+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum!

4 days in S'pore and now im back in M'sia.

Had a TOTAL HELL YEAH FUN with everyone :D

Those were pictures on the 1st and 2nd day.

Most of the picture is in my hp. I got a technical problem to install

the Samsung new pc studio. huhu. -.- just got a new pixon phone xD

The camera is AWESOME!!! Nyeheh ;D Same as A'at too. Lol!

Erm, as u all know that i got a problem before raya. It has been settled!

iampro. ;) KEKEKE

Last day of puasa, i went out and buka with 'Abdillah's Family. It was great.

Celebrated an advanced bday to Kak Arni. :D

Everything is just fineeee after that. Alhamdulillah. Although the both of us got RIVAL. GAGAGAGA!! wtv eh! :P

Extra info, 1st day wore WHITE! 2nd day wore Orange ;D

I love raya coz i can meet all my beloved out there!

The day before i went home, i spent time with ZIBA BESTY with Daeng and A'at too. Met Daeng and A'at at airport while the both of us were eating our POPEYES!

Thanks for the Treat Ziba! xD

Thru out the LONG JOURNEY [thanks ah daeng n ziba], took bus 53 and went to Pasir Ris park. The usual place to hang out and be CRAZY at nite. ;D AHHAHA...

Took Pictures and all. More pictures is otw.

See more at Facebook aite.

2009-09-18T08:11:00.007+08:00

I didnt expect things will happen so fast.

Alhmadulillah, Allah S.W.T. heard my prayers.

I am really glad that karma hit me. It is so obvious. :)

It's ok frens, im fine. Its just that i don't really know the actual reason why...

As u can see, i am now free and all i need to do is concentrate with my Prelims,

Family and Future. ;D

Aint that better!?? HAH!

Now, all i have to do is do stuff whatever i want to do ;))

Weeehooo!

ouh yeah, Prelim was great. Overall i can do it and i felt so much better.

It is weird isnt it? Everytime when i'm in a relationship, no querrel nor a big fight in the end we break up? HAHHA even though, there's only a few small arguments. Hmmm. Ouh well,

i am happy now...

SALAM LEBARAN KEPADA SEMUA UMAT ISLAM!

MOHON MAAF ZAHIR DAN

BATIN.

JIKA ANIRAH TERSILAP

CAKAP DAN TERKASAR

BAHASA,

ANIRAH HARAP KAWAN2

SEMUA MAAFKAN ANIRAH :D

ANIRAH JUGA MAAFKAN

KWN2 ANIRAH. ;)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

pain and memories will be in my heart forever.

2009-09-11T15:10:00.002+08:00

Can u see that tired FACE!??

Having prelims and yeahh ade aje yg nk masuk line.

School nth happen ahh. boring..all i see is paper and ink and erasers and ruler and lots of other stationary. :D

Nothing to tell u... Although im a bit dissapointed and bingit. HAHA

k bye.

2009-09-03T16:49:00.002+08:00

Hey there :D
its been awhile. i am so sorry that lately i didnt really update much.
so fast kan?? its already fasting month and its already September! -_-"
My prelim is next week!! Great huh!? Damn.. 2 weeks of prelims and den 1wk sch holiday.
At the same time, raye is arnd the corner! :O Exciting!! nyehehhehe!!

I feel like its so fast that i dont really feel like a mth fasting. Hmm.. ive been in a good condition so far. =) Alhamdulillah. Nothing really much happen. Although there were few ups and downs. Bleahs. What can i say!? its life..HAHA =P

Trying my best to be more confident.. Anytime.. sooner or later i will not be staying at Bukit Jelutong anymore.. Maybe staying sumwhere in shah alam or klang.. No idea abt that.. my dad is still searching for a new house with the best location. Hmmm. i am abit frustrated that i gotto move out coz its the wrong time -___-" im having my prelims lah seh.. with all those boxes and all. Shiiiish..

Raya this year, i donno wat colour me and my family will be wearing but for sure its gonna be orange and the other colour.. no idea.. Hah. School really bore me to death. i am trying my best to treasure all the moments in school.. hehe but yeahh. there's nothing to do.. just sit in class and do revision... Lol.. Parents been nagging at me why i am not doing my revision .. COZ they always saw me doing other stuff while im resting.. -.- When i study, they will be doing their own stuffs.. Sooooooo i just cudnt be bother when they start nagging at me.. Seriously, if they tell me to open my book and revise, nothing will be in my head coz i am force to do that.. WHo likes it!? Eww. HAHAHHAHA

okeh lah till here bebeh.. NOthing to talk about and update..
So sorry if im in Spore and i didnt tell u guys coz i got no time to meet you all. =/
i can meet all of you wen im done with SPM :D Nyeheheh BYE!

i love you!

2009-08-21T11:35:00.002+08:00

Hey there!! Assalamu'alaikum :)

It's been awhile heh!? Lol.. So sorry.. Lately, i am so lazy to update and type lotsa things. hehe
Well, through out the past few days were OK. Ups and downs never fail to come and go ryte!? hehe
So, ive been practicing playing my guitar at home especially when im deadly bored to the core and when im depressed.. Lol! Emooo siah :P

Ive been thinking and thinking about my future and it is so unpredictable right now.. i cant even get a clue wat will happen right after SPM. -.- And im moving to a new house after raye.. Haish.. At the same time, im taking my prelims. -_- wat a luck .. But insyaAllah, i can concentrate and do well for my prelims. =)

I went back to Spore for a night and not that satisfied but hehehe the best part is that im going to get my new Hp!! nyeheheh Samsung Pixon bebeh!!! :D Holiday for a week ;) BUT I GOTTO STUDY coz after that is my Prelims!!!! Ohhh Gosh. i am ready like 70% ONLY. HAHAHAHHAH!! i noe so terrible :P kekeke

webcam with frens and famiily was fun.. Gotto at least release the rindu-Ness. HAHAHAHAHHA!! i am kinda so called emo this few days BUT i am happy too . :D i donno how to express that feeling. Sorry. hehe

SELAMAT BERPUASA KEPADA SEMUA UMAT ISLAM!!!!!

2009-08-11T12:12:00.002+08:00

Monday and Tuesday...i am so lazy to get my butt to school. HEHE

i rather study at home and its more peaceful ;)

The picture is so random.. Dont mind abt it yeah?! =)

I've been TRYING HARD to keep myself consistent in revising my subjects. Even my maths teacher said that to me. He can see thru my eyes that im still the same. Struggling to be more consistent. Moreover, i am trying to make myself happy and trying to get closer with my family members. Its not that i am not close to them, just that i really wanna spend more quality time with them. ;D Also, i am VERY SAD that one of my classmate got the h1n1. He is a nice and funny guy. I dont want to mention his name. =/ Pray hard for him so that he will get well soon. ;) The world comes to an end.. Sooner or later, it will vanish and the DAY will come. I really can't imagine what will happen on the DAY itself.. Hmm.

So ppl out there, repentance before its too late.

I got nothing else to type about. Till here mates. Bubyee!

Take care! ;D

i Love You

2009-08-10T01:25:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!

SINGAPORE MY HEART MY SOUL MY HOMELAND!

Assalamu'alaikum :D

Alhamdulillah im fine. Manage to control the anger and tention. Tehee!

I stayed at home during my weekends. I did went out ONLY for TUITION. hahha xD I read books and did some revision. Slept and did my prayers. ;) I rather stay at home and spend my quality time with my family members.

Hmm..Hopefully, i get my chance to be the best to my parents and everyone else :D

okehh idk wat to say oready. =P

Bye! ;)

2009-08-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

Having a bad day and i got no mood in any way.
i tried to cheer myself up but i failed. I need more time for this.
Even though this happen frequently, the pain wont go away.
I feel tired and i cant fully concentrate in whatever activities i am doing.
i coudnt bother what people think.

Hmmm...

2009-08-06T22:37:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to Sofia binti Ahmad Shahir!!
My one and only M'sia besty!! ;D
Celebrated her bday just now at Secret Recipe...
Although she knew that we got a surprise for her BUT
she donno what we gonna do for her :P
Nyehehehe..
We prepared things and Alhamdulillah, everything was fine. =)
We had fun fun fun!!!

School was just fine. Nothing really happen.
But there were few ups n downs happen to me.
....

2009-08-05T16:48:00.003+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum.

There are times, we have to think ahead to do something

before an action start.

I am glad and awestuck that i am being MYSELF.

Even though there are people who presume things.

With patient i throw, i will take it with my heart open.

Now, i hope that no fallacy will happen between me and friends

or whoever. I bid to have good terms with all and sundry. =)

Now and then, i don't really liaise with people unless i need to.

Apologize me my friend if i don't really liaise with you.

This is not the time for me to feel remorse

and whatever it is, i have to be fervent at all time. ;)

----------------

This few days, i feel fatigued and the migriane been attacking me

out of blue. Painful yet i have to ignore it.

Haissh.

My day, never been better. Alhamdulillah. (:

Hopefully, my friends out there is doing great

and May Allah Bless you in whatever you're doing.

i love you.

2009-08-04T15:08:00.002+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum :)

Few days back was great.. Yesterday, helped to clean up the Surau.
In school, nth much really happened. I am expecting for something new but nehh.
And someone's bday is so NEARR!! nyehehehhe
I GAIN WEIGHT!!! arghhhhh -_____-" BUT!!!
i am loosing it again . nyehehhehe i am not gonna stay fat for my whole entire life seh!! :O NITEMARE! shiiish..

Just now, i heard ceramah at the TV. Ustad nie kate zaman skrg laki susah nk percaya for some reason.. this ustad and the other ustadsss did a survey.. he said "bile tgh couple sume syg nie syg tu.. baik aje.. sggp buat ape saje utk gf. Bile dah tunang atau kawin, sume tk sggp.sebok dgn kerja, nk save ini itu... tade time utk tunang atau isteri sndr.." HAISSSH. MAJORITY seh laki mcm tu.. Scary u noe.. and Girls out there. Pick the right one and be WISE!!! :D nyehehehe
if u tell me what is the motive telling u this..u shud noe. and dont ask me why. okeh!?

The other day, i met up with my counselor. Its been awhile i can talk to him. huhu. he is a very busy man. Seriously. Oh, i am going to delete my tagged account. VERY LAZY TO UPDATE. kekeke i still have facebook and frenster and myspace mahh ;)
Nothing much really happened.. im glad though. So far no problem. =) Alhamdulillah.
This whole time, i am really in my SPM mood adey. Like i said, i am concentrating in THREE things only. AGAIN.. i am being myself. =D

Till here then. Love u ppl. Alot! tc =)

2009-07-25T09:18:00.003+08:00

Assalamu''alaikum :D

Time flies and today is Saturday... Lotsa things happen in a week! i am so lazy to update. SO many things to tell but i just cant be bother about it for now. I'll tell u abit only aite. Erm, in school there is this club for KETUA TINGKATAN, which is monitor and monitress. The discipline teacher was supposed to organize this club years back but they managed to do it this year and it's a waste that this year is my last year. The form 5 students cant really enjoy this club. Huhu. Dis.teacher and the others voted for head monitor and the assist and all. NOt bragging but just telling. i was selected being the assistant head monitor. LOL. i didnt expect for that though. HAHA xD enough about this.

In class, erm nothing much really happened. Did my school work and i can say i am pretty much hardworking than before and quiet too. =) I told u i am being myself again. HAH! Teacher expect me to do better this time. Insya-Allah with all my hardwork, i can score well and get better grades. Our principle meet those who fail any subject we take AND i failed my A-maths.. C'mon man.. A-maths.. wat do u expect!? I just took it this year man. Hopefully she will say nothing.. i mean i hope she wont scold me or sumthing. HUhu.. and maths too.. i flopped like from a B to D.. how terrible is that!? Damnn. i am not gonna disappoint myself and my parents again. -___-"

I went to the Qiamulail friday night till Sat morning today. It was fun and i feel satisfied myself coz i got alot of tips form Ustad Alang and Ustad Li. They though us about Law of attraction which is about what we want in life. Example, if we really want to get to a Top School and to get that you have to work hard. So, u have to tell urself u want it millions of time and it really works. Another tips, when u woke up from ur beauty sleep make sure u smile coz that will make ur brain fresh and can receive message easily. All of this are positive minds. :D its really good. If someone ask u.. "How r u?" Make sure u said " Alhamdulillah" wanna noe why!?? Alhamdulillah means Syukur Kpd Allah S.W.T... Because of Him we are still alive. Because of Him we are still standing upright with healthy mind and body. Whatever we get , say Alhamdulillah and its better if u said full " Alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin" ;) Tips for u my frens . Ustad also mention about azan. Whenever u heard azan, u are supposed to answer it back. Ustad said about how we can success in our life in the future. We should be closer to Allah S.W.T. to success in whatever we are doing. =) There are alot...kekeke.that is wat i learnt for today. nyehehe xD

Now, i just do my own stuff and be happy for myself.. Kekeke. Do things that will make me satisfied like, make my beloved out there happie and feel glad. Other than that, i help others and do my school projects and my responsibility as a assist.monitor LOL! i think that is all...
and i am in love. GAAAAAaaaa!

i love You!